Who are you?

One Sunday last month, I was on a bus ride to the island from the mainland. I boarded the bus together with a lady, who from the minute I saw her sit by me, felt strongly that she was ill-mannered. She had a copy of ThisDay newspaper with her, which I really wished to read, but I could not ask her because of my subtle fear about her attitude.

A while after, some other passengers joined at the next bus stop, and one of them had to join us on our row, which meant we had to adjust. So, she was asked to create some space to accommodate the person. And hell was let lose! You can’t imagine the kinds of words she spoke, even though she spoke good “phoney” English. Some minutes later, a man behind asked to read the magazine, usually in the paper, and her response again was bad though she gave him.

I was right when I assumed, from the first minute that we sat together, that she had a poor attitude and bad manners. When she alighted, her attitude was the topic of discussion by the other commuters for over 5 minutes. I later asked myself how and why I arrived at such a conclusion about the lady so quickly. What did I notice? Was I not being judgmental (which is a sin)?

Character is like a cable, which is made up of smaller wires, wound round and round until it forms a strong cable. And at this point, it is difficult to unwind. The wires that make up your character are your habits and attitudes. These are the only two things that others see, so they can say “this is who you are”. It is so interesting to see how you meet people and within 10-30 minutes, you can say that this person can be my friend or not. But you should avoid being judgmental by ensuring that you actually have the facts before you conclude about them. You should also learn to give people a chance, when they show signs of change or when they need your help.

You possibly see a guy in ‘sagged’ jeans, wearing a tag and you just ‘click’ together, because that’s what you admire or even do. As a girl, you see another girl, on a low waist jeans and spotting a tight top with some expensive-looking jewelry and you just want to bond with her because she connects to something inside you. But maybe you’re like the guy or girl I admire, who doesn’t want to follow this world’s craze, or people who do, because you want to “flee every appearance of evil”.

So, who are you? Or better still, who do you show others that you are? I beseech you therefore brethren (I feel like Apostle Paul now) that you begin to consciously and deliberately determine who you are. Watch and influence your habits (what you do usually or regularly over and over without thinking) and attitudes (what you feel or think about something which determines how you behave).

IT IS NOT COOL TO KEEP NEGATIVE HABITS AND ATTITUDES. That is what you’ll become in a matter of time. And what you do is what people see, not what you intend to do. Deliberately, let the bible and good morals you’re taught at home and in school become your lifestyle.

Please get a sheet of paper of paper now and write out all your negative habits and attitudes. Beside them, write the good ones based on God’s word and sound morals. Now, pick one good habit and decide to imbibe it until it replaces the bad one, for the next 30 days. Remind yourself about this new positive habit every morning. Researchers say that anything you can do deliberately for 21days will become a habit.

So do it for a whole month. It will be though, very though but remember that you’ll be better off in the long-run. If you have to do it for a longer time, please do. Always remember that You Are What You Have Become. ‘Become’ here means what you have being doing on a daily basis. Your character is a composition of your habits and attitudes. Regardless of what you think or feel or wish, your character (which others see) is YOU!

So, begin today to determine and influence who you are. Ask God to help you. That’s what the Holy Spirit loves to do. And if you’re finding it really though, talk to a Christian counselor or your pastor or parents or to any MINE magazine contributor today.

“You are fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalms 139:14) Let others be able to say that about you!

*Dade Akinwande

Being The Best I Can Be - A Guide To All Around Excellence

There is one thing that stands between your current position and your destination; it’s the “how” obstacle. You have to find answers to such pressing questions as, “how do I get there?”, “how do I make the right choices that will lead me to an expected end?” An expected end is that point in which a person dies regretless. It is a period in which a person can truly and honestly claim to have done all that they could with all they have been given by God (gifts, talents and opportunities). How do we get there? I recommend following these few steps;
· God first
· Don’t take their word for it
· Just do it – The planner vs. the doer
· Know thyself
· Befriend the best to be the best – A community of excellence
· Improve thyself – Learn, learn and learn some more
· Contentious Contentment – The American dream
We’ll start with Step 1 in this edition:

GOD FIRST!
A friend of mine for whom I have the utmost respect often spoke of God telling him what shirt to wear, what time to eat, etc. While I admired him for his close relationship with God, I did not try to emulate him because I was very comfortable with the way God spoke to me. For me, I made the decisions on my everyday tasks on my own while using God’s word as a guideline. For instance, I know that God expects us to adopt the virtue of moderation in all that we do. So, I may decide to eat barbeque chicken and rice but I try not to eat too much.

The concept of being all one can be affects every facet of our lives. A person striving to be all he can be should make efforts to be the best student he can be, the best church worker he can be, the best friend he can be, and so on. While all of these aspects of our lives are important, I will focus on educational and career excellence.

Educational Excellence
If you are like my friend who waits on and hears the voice of God to instruct him on what shirt to wear on a particular day, I congratulate and admire you. If you are not, don’t feel bad, God gave us free will. This free-will is what we must use to make decisions such as what University to attend, what to study in the University and so on.

When using free will as a decision-making tool, it is crucial to make sure that God’s word, which is one of the many ways He speaks to us, is our guide. When I was a teenager and it was time to decide what University to attend outside of Nigeria, I was faced with numerous decisions to make. I had to decide between going to the United Kingdom or the United States (notice how I like the places that are United?). For some, the choices would be much longer. I hear now that people are going to Hungary, Romania, even to Iceland. I admire their fortitude but I only wanted to go to a place where I spoke the language.

I had to decide between going to a place where I had many aunts and uncles (the UK) or a place where a few close friends had already gone (the US). I also decided that I wanted to attend a University with explicit Christian affiliation. I informed my counselor at the United States Information Service (a Lagos based US agency that provides guidance to people who want to study in the US) of my criteria and we got the University search process going.

You see, there are more than 3000 Universities in the United States and most of them are accredited. Given this overwhelmingly large number, it is important to have a few criteria at the beginning of the search in order to be able to weed out the undesirables. My own criteria were; a private Christian University in a quiet town where I could study something engineering related and so on (It has been so long ago that I don’t remember exactly what I said).

I did not know that I was about to attend a school that would not allow me achieve my goals, where most graduates were unable to get jobs (yes, those exist in the US too). It was a school that was only Christian in the fact that there were rules against unwholesome behavior; rules that no one obeyed. I ended up completing my bachelor’s degree at a different school.

I had some bad experiences in that small town but I also met some great friends; good Christians from other parts of the world with whom I connected spiritually. I would have said God took me to that school so that I would meet great people but I think an even more important reason for me to have acquired such experience is so that I can share with you and perhaps help you prevent similar mistakes when you are at your own cross-roads.

If I were one of those people to whom God speaks about what shirt to wear, He may or may not have told me to go somewhere else from the beginning. There is no way to guess what God would have said. However, since I made the decision to be comfortable being what I have cleverly named a biblically guided free willing Christian, there were steps I should have taken that would have guaranteed that I attended the best school possible. These steps (as stated in the second paragraph) are going to be revealed in subsequent installments of “Being the best I can be.”

*Ayo Sopitan

Teen Celebrity

Can we meet you?
I am Daniel Osunbor, from Edo state. I was born and bred in Lagos; second out of four children. I’m a Christian. I’m seventeen going on eighteen.
What are you up to presently?
I just graduated from my secondary school, Ilupeju Senior Secondary School. I’m waiting to do UME next year.
What church do you attend and what’s your involvement?
I attend World Evangelism Bible Church (WEBIC). I’m just a member.
What activities were you involved in when in school?
I was the head boy of my school. I was also a member of the JETS club. I represented my school in different competitions. I was involved in Spelling Bee competitions.
Please tell us more about that.
I went for my first spelling bee competition in JS3 but didn’t make the finals. I also went in SS1, but as a spectator. I went in SS2 again as a contestant and reached the final this time but did not win. I finally went in my SS3, in April this year, and won.
How did you feel?
I was very very happy, excited and fulfilled because that was my second time making the final; it was a dream come true.
Congratulations.
Thank you
How did you achieve this?
My teacher in school tutored me well, taught me to spell words and encouraged me never to give-up.
Who else helped and in what capacity?
My friends helped me, calling out words for me to spell. My parents also gave me their full support; they suspended domestic activities for me so I could concentrate fully.
Did you read a lot of novels, watch films or where you just studying the dictionary?
I watched films, including ‘Akeelah and the Bee’, which motivated me to win. There was also a pamphlet from the organizers of the competition that helped me. I also studied the dictionary.
What was your reward for your winning this Spelling Bee?
I was to act as the governor of Lagos for one day and I was given a sum of two hundred and fifty thousand naira (#250,000) that day.
How was the experience as One-Day Governor of Lagos State?
That day was the 2nd of June, 2008. It was like night should not fall that day. Meeting the governor personally, and sitting on his own chair was not a thing to dream of or expect to happen. I was fulfilled.
As a result of that experience, do you see yourself going into politics?
No.
Why?
To me, it’s a dangerous game (smiles).
So, what do you want to become?
A medical doctor.
Why?
I love saving people; I don’t like seeing people die.
What other memorable thing happened as a result of your winning the Bee?
The governor invited me to the welcome party organized for Man U’s Rio Ferdinand at Eko Hotel. I was happy to meet someone like that.
Are you a Man U fan?
Yes, I am.
What other things do you do?
I read books and magazines, sing and listen to music.
What makes you different from other teenagers?
The God factor; He has distinguished me from others. And the way I study is also different.
Do you have any advice for teenagers, like you, reading this magazine?
Never give up. Study hard and no matter the peer pressure, don’t fall. Also be prayerful because I believe that with God, all things are possible.
Thank you Daniel. It was a pleasure chatting with you.
You’re welcome.



Is there something very unique about you or that you’ve achieved and you want to be interviewed on this magazine or you have a teenage friend who you know is very special and should be interviewed, please send the name(s) and contacts (e-mail and phone number) to us at justaboutmine@yahoo.com We’ll get back to you and after listening to you, you might just be chosen as our next Teen Celebrity.

When It Seems Your Parents Hate You

What do your parents do to make you feel they hate you? I have some ideas but I know the list is endless. Let’s check them out…
· They compare you with your siblings and at times even compare you with their friends’ children or neighbours’ children.
· They send you to a school that is cheaper than those your siblings attend.
· They hardly have time to have heart-to-heart talks with you. While you are there craving for expression, they are busy chasing money.
· They abuse you verbally and physically (harsh beatings).
· They make comments and do things that tell you they don’t trust you.
· They take family decisions without asking you for your opinion.
· They force you to do courses in the university that you don’t want to do.
· Their discipline and the routinous lifestyle they enforce at home are suffocating and you are not allowed to be yourself.
· They vehemently oppose your entertaining friends of the opposite sex in the house.
As earlier mentioned, the list is endless. So, where do we go from here?
Believe it or not, your parents do NOT hate you. Maybe they just have their ‘old fashioned’ way of doing things, which is not acceptable to you. However, we have to reach a compromise, don’t we?
One thing I know you don’t like to hear your parents say is ‘in our days’… and I feel you! In their days, did they have access to the internet like you do now? Or were they exposed to so much immorality and corruption like you are now? NO!
The issue is, change is permanent and parents must realize that things cannot be as they were 20 years ago! Life would be very dull! (I hear you saying ‘Tell them o!’)
Having said that, let us look at the other side of the coin. Your parents have definitely had more experiences than you have. Hope you know that? Imagine a mother that was raped by her father’s driver when she was young. What would she do if she notices you, her teenage daughter, getting close to her driver? She’d yell at you! But you say “Mum, it’s okay. There’s nothing between us”. That will definitely not convince her because once beaten, twice shy.
Proverbs 10:1 says a wise son maketh a glad father but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother. When you make your choices and you burn your fingers, it bounces back at the family. You come home and say, “Daddy, Mummy, I’ve goofed”. Would you want to hear, “But we told you”?
Communication is so important in family life. If you have parents that are so unapproachable, tell Jesus about it. Offer prayers to Him on every issue; He always answers. He will intervene. You need to talk to your parents about issues hurting you. The following tips would be of help to you:
· Watch out for the right time to talk with them.
· Choose the right words.
· Accept your faults where you went wrong.
· Let them know you love them but that you don’t love some things that they do.
· Be ready to forgive them when the issue is resolved.
· Trust their judgement. They may not always be right but often will.
· Buy a small gift, send text messages of love and appreciation.
In short, change your mindset about their ‘hatred’ for you and you will see what lovely parents you have.
They really love you! And may I add…I love you too!

*Sinmisola Adigun

Bobos' Yarn With P.Leke

Q: I was once a very fervent Christian. That was when I was 7 yrs old. During that period, I even heard the voice of God directly. Now I don’t know what is happening. I am totally in the world. When I try going back to God, I keep failing. I don’t know what is happening. It’s as if God does not even want to hear my voice at all. Please I want you to help me with this as fast as possible. I don’t want to perish in hell. Please.

A: I heartily congratulate you on this self discovery you have made. I’m glad you know that you need God more than you have Him now. I’m sure God allowed you to have the experiences you had as a seven year old boy because of what He knew you would go through at this time - so you would know that a deeper fellowship with Him is possible.
Firstly, I would want you to determine in your mind to get back to that level of fellowship you once had with God and even go beyond that. You have to take it gradually, as I don’t know exactly how old you are now and how long you’ve had to stay away from Him. It is not going to be spontaneous or automatic; you would have to patiently grow into that love walk back with Him.
This means that you might fall sometimes just like you said, but with determination added to sincere childlike prayers (childlike ‘cause you are still but like a 7-year old in your walk with Him), express yourself like you used to when you were that young, and wait on Him. Fast if you can. Just do all you can. Read His word. Yes! Do that a lot ‘cause that is the easiest way to hear Him speak to you and to know His mind concerning the right things to do (Psalms 119). Pray hard and frequently too, in tongues if you can. It speeds up your ability to hear God.
I am totally sure if you do all these consistently and persistently, you would start hearing Him and speaking with Him more than you were doing before, because I know He is waiting to do just that too. Remember, a saint is a sinner who fell and didn’t stay there, but got up. Get up today and see you in heaven by His grace. Shalom!

You have questions you want to let out of your heart, right? Send an e-mail to questionsofmine@yahoo.com and indicate if you want the question(s) addressed personally or through the magazine.

Girls' Chat With Titi

Q: I am in SS3 and I have this problem. People don’t like having me around them. I try to be nice and even try to make friends, but all they do is turn down my offers. I don’t have any defects like body odour; I would have said maybe that’s what is keeping them off. I feel so bad about this whole stuff. Is it that I am not loveable? Please help me.

A: I understand how you feel dear. The truth is, I’ve been there before too. In fact, in my own case, the feeling of rejection was so bad that I had to write letters to girls who I wanted to be my friends, instead of walking up to them, to avoid any embarrassment!

The rejection from others made me see myself in a different way from who I really was. However, I don't want you to allow this 'rejection' affect you any longer than it already has. The truth is that if you are born-again (guess you are but please be if not), you belong to God and everything that God says about you in His word is the only truth you can measure yourself by. I want you to therefore spend quality time with God's word, meditate on scriptures that tell you about who you really are in God and how God sees you. As you do this, the feeling of rejection gradually loses its hold on your mind as the Word displaces every falsehood that peoples' attitude towards you have implanted in you.

The more you understand this, the more you will realise that though some people don't want you around, there are probably more people that long for your friendship. These could be those who secretly admire you and have been looking for opportunities or the courage to walk up to you and tell you how much a light you have been to them in 'seemingly' little things. They could be also be those who God wants you to be a BLESSING to with the gifts He has specially endowed you with.

Dearie, I want you to know, more than anything else, that God ALWAYS wants you to be around Him because He's ALWAYS around you! And, the more time you spend with God, the more your life will be irresistibly attractive to others. You are moving into a larger community of people as you leave secondary school, so the earlier you allow these truths to sink in, the better your chances of living more confidently, knowing who you really are and what you can offer everyone who comes your way. It then becomes a case of people counting it a privilege to be associated with you. Please, this is the time for you to develop yourself and have great virtues built in you.

You are loveable dear! Don't stop being friendly and making friends even if they don’t respond immediately. Your relationships (the right ones, most especially with God first) are valuable assets you cannot afford to play with. Remember, the stone which the builders rejected has become the chief cornerstone! Jesus was initially rejected by many but has been accepted so far by billions and He's still having more friends today. Your story can be the same!

You have questions you want to let out of your heart, right? Send an e-mail to questionsofmine@yahoo.com and indicate if you want the question(s) addressed personally or through the magazine.

I Bow And You Curtsey.

Ever heard the above phrase before? If you haven’t, you probably haven’t watched the all-time classic “Sound of music”. If you have or you have watched a similar epic or historical movie, then you would be quite familiar with this phrase, might have even said, and practiced the phrase once or twice. The gentleman bows his head real low with his hand behind his back and the lady bows her knees as she delicately lifts her skirt a bit. This act was, and still is, an act of respect by both parties. This was usually done before a dance. You might want to try it out one of these days!

Are we talking about dancing today? No, we aren’t! We’re talking about manners; about respect. A sign of a true gentleman or a true lady is respect. Show me a person who is respectful and I would show you a person of infallible character. Modernization is threatening to steal our core values in the world (Nigeria not left out), one of which is respect – for elders, tradition, etc but we must not allow it. We are all guilty, and you’ll see why in a moment.

“Who’s that!!!” you scream from your sitting room at a visitor knocking on your door, not caring who it might be… are you guilty?
You sit comfortably at a wedding reception, an elderly woman is standing without a place to sit, and you don’t as much as look in her direction… am I talking about you?
Others are praying in church during service or listening to the sermon but you’re talking about that chic or that match between Arsenal and Man U… you’re feeling the heat, right?

Let’s stop at those three scenarios! You might still be wondering, ‘what’s bad in doing these things?’ That’s another pointer to the fact that you need to learn a little more about respect. Respect, according to the Longman dictionary is “an attitude of regarding something or someone as important so that you are careful not to harm them, treat them rudely etc.”

Did you notice that the definition referred to both ‘something’ and ‘someone’? Now, let’s look at the ‘somethings’ and ‘someones’ you need to respect by being careful not to harm them. Let’s start with the ‘somethings’:

1. YOUR BODY: Oh yes! You NEED to respect your body. Why should you? Because it’s your glory - your identity. God even said He would destroy whoever defiles your body (that includes you!) 1 Corinthians 3:17.
‘But I don’t disrespect my body’ you say. You do! When you eat too much, take too much sugar, take alcohol, cigarettes, you disrespect your body. The list is not over yet… when you don’t wash yourself well, repeat underwear without washing for ‘many’ days, sleep too much, refuse to exercise, you’re invariably disrespecting your body ‘cos your body desperately NEEDS these things to be done properly for it to function optimally.
Above all, you disrespect your body when you allow anyone (whether you love the person or not) to touch you in private places or when you decide to do the touching yourself…hmm… that’s right!!!
And guess what? Your body will respect you by behaving and functioning well when you treat it well. Otherwise, it will disrespect you by embarrassing you with rashes, body odour, sicknesses, too much fat, venereal diseases; that’s just to mention a few.

2. YOUR NATION: Respect for your country is the key to prospering in that country: Nigeria in our own case. These ‘commandments’, if followed, will help you in respecting your country
- Thou shalt not speak negatively about Nigeria but shall rather bless her.
- Thou shalt not squeeze, write on or keep in your ‘unmentionables’ the Naira note.
- Thou shalt not throw anything; pure water nylon, biscuit wrapper, used recharge card or anything at all, on the ground. (Use the next available dustbin; and if there’s none, keep the item till you get home and dispose of it in your bin.)
- Thou shalt not accept or give bribe or cheat your way into ‘success’. (Righteousness is Nigeria’s only hope; please respect that hope!)
- Thou shalt not run away from your country but shalt stay and make it a better place. (So, throw away all your visas; you’re going nowhere…just kidding! Go, if you must, but please come back and contribute to Nigeria’s greatness)

Now, to the ‘someones’:

3. YOUR PEERS: Even your classmates or those younger than you deserve your respect. Friend, you never can tell what they’ll become tomorrow. How you treat them today determines how they would treat you tomorrow.
Being polite when talking to and relating with your mates, and your younger ones at home or juniors in school, doesn’t reduce you in anyway, it rather makes you a better person.
Adding ‘please’ to your requests doesn’t make you grow shorter, does it?
Saying ‘I’m sorry’ can’t make you ugly, can it?
Saying ‘thank you’ has never made your brain duller, has it?
In fact, I’m sure the opposite happened on the different occasions you were polite to your peers and juniors. You felt confident, secure and happy, didn’t you? That’s the secret men!
If you’re wondering why you hardly have friends or why your friends don’t stay, then try the “STAR” formula – Show Them Absolute Respect” this formula never fails.

4. YOUR ELDERS: The first on this list are your parents. You know too well the scripture that tells you to honour you parents IF you want to live long and be successful. Ephesians 6:1-3 That speaks volumes; you don’t need further persuasion, do you? Respect your parents and your life will be beautiful. Love them, support them; don’t shout back at them and pray for them.
Your teachers, or lecturers, deserve respect too. Don’t stab them from behind with your slanderous words, seek their welfare and let them know they are appreciated. That’s the least you can do for these people who are doing all in their power to make you a better person!
Finally, elderly strangers that you meet deserve respect. Wait for them to pass first if you meet at a narrow passageway, stand up for them to sit if they don’t have a seat at a function or in a bus. What is it going to cost you; just a little discomfort… but the blessings you’ll receive for that act will be grand indeed!

5. YOUR GOD: He, Jesus, your Lord and Savior, deserves your utmost respect. The God whose blood was shed for you in a gruesome way and who daily watches over you and blesses you surely deserves every bit of respect you have to offer. If there’s ever a person never to hurt, it’s God!!!
This page would never do to list all the things you should do and not do to show respect to God. But deep within your heart, you know those things you have been doing, saying, thinking, allowing, imagining, that hurt God and spite Him as well.
“…for them that honor me I will honor, and they that despise me shall be lightly esteemed.” 1 Samuel 2:30. That’s God own word to us, His children. What better honor to seek than the Almighty God’s honor. And the secret to receiving this is honoring Him first. He said He’ll lift up the humble and bring low the proud. Don’t cheat yourself dear friend, do all to please God… and always honor Him in church (no more romantic or football gists when in church service, okay?)
And paradventure you don’t even know this God not to talk of honoring Him or you have disrespected Him so much, either directly or indirectly (calling His name in vain, speaking against the Holy Spirit, or what-have-you), then He’s waiting for you to come to Him in repentance and He WILL forgive you and lift you up because He loves you so much. Please say the love prayer beneath this article.

Dear friend, you have just learnt about respecting your body, your nation, your peers, your elders, and God. Please endeavor to practice what you’ve learnt. Building a respectful character in these areas will definitely make you a person to be admired by all.
Now, let’s do some practice. Please stand up where you are…Oh Yes! Right where you are now, reading this article. Don’t mind if anyone is looking at you. You’re on your feet now, right? Okay! Guys at the count of three, you bow and ladies you curtsey. Are you ready? Take your positions. One ... Two … Three ...

*Timilehin Adigun

THE LOVE PRAYER!!!
Dear God, I have heard about your love and I thank you for loving me in spite of my many sins and weaknesses. I believe, Jesus, that you’re the son of God and that you died and rose again to save me. I repent of my sins and forsake them. I will live to please you as your Holy Spirit helps me. I receive you into my heart and I ask that you make me yours forever. Help me to be your friend and may we love and honor each other for all eternity. Thank you Father for accepting me. I have prayed in Jesus’ name, Amen.
If you prayed this prayer for the first time, please send an e-mail to us at justaboutmine@yahoo.com and we’ll be quick to get back to you to stand by you in this new adventure of life.