Monday, December 15, 2008

Do I Have To Get Married?

A young man sees a young lady, falls in love with her, sums up courage and asks her out. She tries to prove ‘hard to get’ but after sometime, she says YES. They begin to go everywhere together; they are so engrossed with each other; they hardly notice that there are other people around them.
If there are opportunities for overnight chatting like with MTN, the love talk will continue till early morning. What of chatting on Yahoo Messenger or visits to the cinemas? They just don’t want to leave each other’s company.
This is God’s divine programme. He saw this at creation. When he created Adam, He saw that Adam could not live alone. It was not good. God created a help, meet for him; He gave Eve to Adam in Genesis 2:22.
Whatever happened after this was not God’s plan. Have you wondered why some relationships turn soar after some years of marriage? It is because the two parties involved took their eyes off God who ordained marriage in the first instance. Love can sustain a relationship for sometime but only God can sustain it forever.
Imagine a couple that has been in love for some years. They eventually get to discover each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Instead of focusing on each other’s strengths, the devil will make them dwell on the weaknesses so that a relationship that was very cordial and sweet before all of a sudden becomes very bitter.
So are you still wondering whether you should get married or not? My answer is YES. The fact that it didn’t work for some people doesn’t mean that it wont work for you. There are still many happy married couples in the world today.
You must purpose in your mind that your own marriage will be a success too. There must be the desire to make it succeed.
Always remember that God’s thoughts towards you are good Jeremiah 29:11. God doesn’t do evil neither does he tempt anyone with evil.
Focus on people whose marriages have succeeded. As you have students who fail in examinations, so you have those who pass. If you cannot say you won’t sit for examinations because others have failed, then you shouldn’t say that you won’t marry because some marriages have failed. Let it be a matter of Philipians 4:13.
Anytime I look at my children, I always bless God for making me fruitful. I believe that as a boy or girl, you would like to be fruitful in the future. Having a child out of wedlock would be sinning (fornication). It is only in marriage that pregnancy is lawful. So, if you desire fruitfulness, you must desire marriage. Then, you would be fulfilling God’s purpose.
In marriage, there is companionship – you have someone to share your thoughts, aspirations, burdens etc with. There is someone to listen to you while you share your intimate thoughts.
Other friends will come and go but your marriage partner is for life. If the person is God’s choice for you, you will enjoy heaven here on earth. There will definitely be challenges but as you depend on God, He will bring solutions to them (…be of good cheer, I have overcome the world).
However, may I add here that there are three types of Eunuchs (people who never marry) – Matthew 19:12:
1) Eunuchs by birth
2) Eunuchs, by the making of men
3) Eunuchs for the Kingdom’s sake.
So, you can still be single and happy. But like Jesus said, “In the beginning, it was not so”. The book of Genesis categorically tells us that God said it is not good for man to be alone.
At the right time, barring ALL biases, please seek God’s face concerning the issue of marriage and let Him speak to you about your life partner.
I love people getting married. I am a marriage counselor, by God’s grace, and the thought of people getting married thrills me. Please in X years to come, when you are sure you are getting hooked, please remember to invite me. It is well with you.
Love you so much!

Written by Sinmisola Adigun

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