Monday, June 2, 2008

Girls' Chat With Titi

Q: I’m 19 years old; an undergraduate. I have a boyfriend who always smooches me. It started right from the inception of our relationship, two years back. We’ve done everything apart from sex itself. I want to stop but I cannot afford to lose him. He came into my life after my suicide attempt and made me feel loved ‘cause my parents don’t care about me. But I feel cheap and dirty after we ‘play’. Please help me, I’m in desperate need.

A: Hi dearie. The first truth I think you should know is that GOD REALLY LOVES YOU! When I read your question, I realized that your desperation was, and still is, evidence that God is interested in you and your future.

To start with, I know that you know what to do but you are afraid of taking the first step. Dear sister, I need you to know that true love can only come from God! It’s normal for you to see ‘your boyfriend’ as someone you cannot do without because of the time he stepped in (at the point of the suicide attempt). All I pray to God to help me do is to make you see the two sides of the coin so you can make the right choice.

You know what dear? All that has happened so far between the two of you in the name of ‘love’ (lust, I mean) has left you in a worse state than before and if you allow it to continue, you will only be toying with your eternal destiny. Please believe me, he (I wish I knew his name) does not love or respect you. If he loves you, he won’t be doing things that drain you emotionally and that diminish your self-esteem. Before you now are two choices: him or God!

If you choose him, you’ll continue the cycle of ‘feeling’ cheap and dirty until you eventually ‘become’ cheap and dirty. When he eventually leaves you (which he most likely would do), you’d be left to carry the shame throughout your life and may even return to the suicide you attempted years back.

If you choose God, He will love you like no one else can, clean you up of every ill-feeling you have developed towards yourself, restore all you have lost, bring the right people (particularly the ‘right man’ at the ‘right time’) who will love you and respect you, and finally, He will make ALL things NEW for you; giving you a new life and new hope!

If I were you, I will choose God. I will advice you prayerfully let go of him so that you can have God (who is WORTH having for life and without whom your life cannot have meaning or satisfaction) all to yourself. Just to let you know that your choice is important to you, to me, and to great destinies attached to you (posterity and generations to come). I hope to pray for you as much as I can and please remember you have a friend in me, after God!

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