Monday, August 18, 2008

Girls' Chat With Titi

Q: I am in SS3 and I have this problem. People don’t like having me around them. I try to be nice and even try to make friends, but all they do is turn down my offers. I don’t have any defects like body odour; I would have said maybe that’s what is keeping them off. I feel so bad about this whole stuff. Is it that I am not loveable? Please help me.

A: I understand how you feel dear. The truth is, I’ve been there before too. In fact, in my own case, the feeling of rejection was so bad that I had to write letters to girls who I wanted to be my friends, instead of walking up to them, to avoid any embarrassment!

The rejection from others made me see myself in a different way from who I really was. However, I don't want you to allow this 'rejection' affect you any longer than it already has. The truth is that if you are born-again (guess you are but please be if not), you belong to God and everything that God says about you in His word is the only truth you can measure yourself by. I want you to therefore spend quality time with God's word, meditate on scriptures that tell you about who you really are in God and how God sees you. As you do this, the feeling of rejection gradually loses its hold on your mind as the Word displaces every falsehood that peoples' attitude towards you have implanted in you.

The more you understand this, the more you will realise that though some people don't want you around, there are probably more people that long for your friendship. These could be those who secretly admire you and have been looking for opportunities or the courage to walk up to you and tell you how much a light you have been to them in 'seemingly' little things. They could be also be those who God wants you to be a BLESSING to with the gifts He has specially endowed you with.

Dearie, I want you to know, more than anything else, that God ALWAYS wants you to be around Him because He's ALWAYS around you! And, the more time you spend with God, the more your life will be irresistibly attractive to others. You are moving into a larger community of people as you leave secondary school, so the earlier you allow these truths to sink in, the better your chances of living more confidently, knowing who you really are and what you can offer everyone who comes your way. It then becomes a case of people counting it a privilege to be associated with you. Please, this is the time for you to develop yourself and have great virtues built in you.

You are loveable dear! Don't stop being friendly and making friends even if they don’t respond immediately. Your relationships (the right ones, most especially with God first) are valuable assets you cannot afford to play with. Remember, the stone which the builders rejected has become the chief cornerstone! Jesus was initially rejected by many but has been accepted so far by billions and He's still having more friends today. Your story can be the same!

You have questions you want to let out of your heart, right? Send an e-mail to and indicate if you want the question(s) addressed personally or through the magazine.

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