Monday, August 18, 2008

I Think I'm In Love

Sometime last year, Tamar became involved in a relationship with Tony. It began with phone calls and the most beautiful text messages you could imagine. It graduated into occasional visits that graduated further into daily visits. The danger of this process was that the relationship moved faster than it should have. Of course, the feelings involved were not able to follow a natural process of development.

Tamar began to long for that text message or phone call. Her heart would beat rapidly and she had a feeling of euphoria most of the time. This blinded her to her true feelings. As the relationship developed, she began to compromise her principles and ideals.

As the differences between them became more glaring, Tamar realized that she was suppressing her true emotions, because she had become extremely depressed about her involvement with Tony. (Infatuation is just a fleeting emotion and will eventually fade away.)

Tony, on the other hand, was involved in so many dirty stuffs. He attended wild parties, visited clubs, drank alcohol, and as young as he was, had many ‘lovers’ at his disposal. Each time Tony came to see Tamar, something within her would rise up in anger and she wouldn’t hesitate to react accordingly. (When infatuation ends, you start to hate with the same intensity you thought you had loved).

One day, while settling one of their many quarrels, Tony asked Tamar a question. “Do you really love me?” She looked him straight in the eye, and without much hesitation said an emphatic ‘NO’. What she had imagined was ‘love’ at the beginning of the relationship was anything but love.

First, she did not know him well enough to decide that she loved him. This is the danger with Infatuation; it makes you feel you’re in love, whereas, it’s your emotions that are running wild. Have you ever asked yourself ‘Why am I in such a haste to rush into this thing called love?’

Friend, do you really know what love is?
Love actually means different things to different people depending on their personal understanding of the word. Here are a few definitions people have:
- Love is a hole in the heart
- Love is a grave mental disease
- Love is desperate madness
- Love is sentimental measles
- Love is a feeling that may not last
- Love is a feeling of fondness towards a provider
- Love is a euphemism for a sexual relationship
- Love is a mutual understanding between two people.
You want to add your own definition too, don’t you? Go ahead!

However, the only way you can know true love and truly love someone else is by allowing love to dwell richly in your heart. Love also has to be reciprocal, not flowing in only one direction, for it to be meaningful. Look within you dear and ask yourself if the feelings you have for him/her can stand the test of true love. Ask yourself, ‘Am I in love with the container (physical beauty) or with the content (inner/character beauty)?’

Oh! The boy is handsome. Her family is rich. He sends me many romantic text messages. She buys me nice shirts. He’s always there for me. She likes me the way I am…the list is endless. And with all these emotions tugging at your heart, you conclude ‘I cannot afford to lose him/her.’

But the truth be told; you’ll eventually lose him/her if you got into the relationship on the wrong basis, as explained earlier, or at the wrong time. Don’t frown now… That is the truth! My dear, there is time for everything. You’re still so young; why let another person toy with your heart. How will you feel, at your age, to experience a heartbreak?

Did I hear you say NO? Good! So, give your heart to someone who will keep it till the perfect end. The greatest definition of love is found in 1John 4:7. God Himself is Love. If you haven’t experienced His perfect love, you cannot give it to someone else. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase before that “what you don’t have, you cannot give”

True love is not about what you have to gain but what you have to give to someone else. It is not self-serving but serves others. Love gives - it gives life. God showed that example when He gave up His only son for us, His lovers. John 3:16. Loves gives its best. It makes sacrifices…the list is endless. God is the source of love. When you find God, you have found love!

Sweetie, kindly face your studies now, have something worthwhile doing with your life and time. Invest your time wisely. Read Christian novels, watch Christian movies and share love with your friends and with the needy too, be active in church, build up your self-esteem and learn new skills. There’s so much you could do with your time.

Tamar realized that she had a wrong idea of what love was. Listen to what she said after the break up. “I had a great sense of relief .It was as if I had been in bondage.” This would never have been if it were true love (founded on God’s kind of love).

Are these words unpleasant to you? Are you desperate to be in love? You need someone to always call you sweetheart, honey, sugar, and on. If that’s you, then there is a solution! Since it’s not advisable you get into a relationship with the opposite sex as at now, there’s someone who loves you irrespective of your gender or status. He doesn’t ‘think’ He’s in love with you; He ‘knows’ He’s in love with you.

He died to prove the extent of His love for you. He’s toasting you now, asking you out on an eternal date; whispering loving words into your ears. Don’t keep Him waiting. Can you just say it back to Him that you love Him? If you let Him, He will show you how to truly fall in love. He is patient, kind, gentle, generous and trustworthy. He will never make unwholesome demands from you. He wants to build, not destroy you; make, not mare you.

Jesus is stretching out His arms towards you now. Can you see Him? Don’t hurt Him by turning your back. Let Him fill your emotional tank. Fall into His embrace, and as you do that, falling in love with the right guy at the right time won’t be a problem because you would have learnt from Him what true love is! Till the next time we meet – Jesus loves you more than I do, but mine counts as well. Love you!!!

*Toyin Ogundana

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