Q: At times, I often feel I am not good enough, cos I can't do some things my mates do, I can't play soccer, basket ball; I don't even have a girl friend. I don't have friends I can talk to. I can't even walk past a football field without thinking that they would be laughing at me. I am really scared of turning out to be gay, because I can't even move with a girl as her boyfriend. And everything is just shameful, and you can't imagine how my whole life is starting to wear me out
A: In life, you can’t do well around people who keep running you down, or keep pitying you. Who are the people you hang around? Watch it. Are they people telling you that you have a lot of things in you to be made fun of? Or that you don’t match up to some man-made standards? Are they people telling you since you don’t have a girlfriend, you would do well in the gay business?
Please don’t consent (Proverbs 1:10) and get out of such circles because it is said that “evil communication corrupt good manners”. They will do you no good. They need a re-think because there is no easy business in being gay, (it needs a lot of courage, boldness and plenty of nerves, just as it would need to do the right things), neither is there any fun in comparing oneself with others. So, why not channel your strength the right way, why waste your nerves on something as deplorable as being a gay when you can do something you can be proudly seen and appreciated for with the same energy.
Now, who says you can not do the things your mates can do? Okay, you have tried football, soccer and what else. You have to keep trying to find out the one you can do. There has to be something somewhere you are excellent at. Everybody doesn’t have to be good in sports, nor in talking to people. Have you tried the arts, music, academics etc?
The question is who are you? You will find what you can do in that answer. Everyone wants to be associated with success, and the greatest success is in discovering yourself and maximizing your own potentials. You would feel fulfilled after that.
In summary, you need to sit down, do some introspection, find out some positive areas you have an inkling you could be good at, and plunge into them… no matter how many. You will definitely find one that you can narrow down to. When you have done a good job knowing yourself more and improving and developing yourself, you would find out that the secret to success is knowing and improving yourself, then, you would, without trying so hard, find out that you have many friends that could last for ages, and not just a fleeting relationship that you want so badly because everyone is in one.
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