Monday, February 23, 2009

Bobos' Yarn With P.Leke Johnson

Q: I am facing a serious challenge; I'm not moved by any sad news no matter the gravity. Just yesterday I was told that a close relative had died, I didn't even bat an eye lid as I went on with my normal business. This is making me to feel heartless and I don't know what to do. Please, I'll be glad if you could advise me on what to do.

A: Though you did not state it categorically, you probably have had a few blows in the past and did not like the reactions you got by showing your emotions the way you did, now you have devised another means of expressing yourself which is a ‘no-expresso’ way.

Now, because of the way we are made, we all have different temperaments, meaning, your composition or make up which determines the way you see and respond to things. Some people are very fast and loud in their responses; some are very slow and quiet, while some are just in the middle.

For someone who is loud and fast, sad news could bring about a scream, and excessive display of emotions from the understanding of what happened, whereas, for someone slow, the same news might bring about a longer time to express himself or no reaction physically to an onlooker, but inside, might be screaming. What usually happens is that such a person might, by the time he wants to express his own emotions not find anyone still ready or waiting for such a display as it had become long overdue, or be afraid of what such a person might say at such delayed expression, thereby, leading to not expressing anything at all despite all the pain he might feel inside.

This is dangerous, because over time, this will lead to an accumulation of emotions meant to be let out being kept within, causing illness, depression or blankness (where someone looks heartless or non-caring even though they are not). You need to therefore learn to release your emotions at your own pace, no matter how long it takes you to and break the walls you have otherwise built around yourself emotionally.

This might take some time, but with the help of God, (faith comes by hearing the word of God) it is going to be easy. You need to study the Word of God more and more and have a more solid relationship with the Holy Spirit. You can always confide in Him. Even if no other person understands you, He does and is ready to wait for you to let your guards down. He will break every barrier and bring about the right reaction in every situation in Jesus’ name. Amen.

You have questions you want to let out of your heart, right? Send an e-mail to and indicate if you want the question(s) addressed personally or through the magazine.

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